My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I understand Curling. That high.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
