Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
