He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
