An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
