yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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