Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
