So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
