all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
