ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
