i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
