I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
