it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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