p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
