you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
