After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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