I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
