I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
