Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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