so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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