btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
