I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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