remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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