So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
