Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
