how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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