so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
