his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
