I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
