i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
