READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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