Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
