just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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