I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
