so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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