Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
