She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
