8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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