Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
