Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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