Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
