I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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