All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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