mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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