She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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