Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
