he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the day after is always just damage control
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
