no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
