he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
where am i from again
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
