i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
