soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
