I'm really into asian looking animals
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
