Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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