mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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